I need to bitch about this more, my friends, roomates and boyfriend are tired of my rants so I'm turning to my blog.
My laptop is the biggest piece of shit in the world. I bought it four years ago... I thought I would be really cool by getting the 17 inch monitor. Yes I am an idiot. Taking it to class and unloading the beast out of my backpack usually takes several painful minutes as I situate and re-situate my power cord, notebooks, and try to tuck in my elbows so the bitch next to me doesn't get an unintentional shot in the tits. I'll let you imagine how much worse this gets on super cramped planes and duirng airport security checks, when the good looking, funny, and kind TSA agents force you to put your laptop in a separate bin. (If you didn't catch the sarcasm, I HATE TSA but we can save that rant for my future travels)
After two years of painfully slow internet my battery shit out completely, if ever unplugged for more than a few moments all 17 inches shut down and lost anything I had been working on. Awesome. Not wanting to waste anymore of my hard earned money on this pile of shit I refuse to purchase a new battery which supposedly would eliminate the problem entirely. Now I am stubborn cheap idiot (no I am not Jewish).
Piece de resistance of my computer woes.... a few weeks ago I must have an had unprotected cyber surfing session or perhaps I unwisely gave my e-mail to a shifty website, the result: I contracted a virus which left me with the "blue screen of death". Fuck my life. I'm in college in the 21st century without a laptop... that's the equivalent of being downtown without pants or up shits creek with no paddle, but worse! What I am supposed to do? Sneak into empty computer labs hoping a class wont barge in on me while I am trying to update my social media or looking at one of the obscure websites I often frequent? My mom suggested library... Does she know who goes there! It's chock full of dorks, Asians, stale books, and apparently women who would rather spend money on cigs than pants for her son. No thanks.
Luckily my boyfriend is somewhat computer savvy and was able to wipe the hard drive and install Windows 7.... only problem aside from losing ALL of my assignments, pictures and music...as well as an extensive recipe collection....My computer is too old to handle Windows 7! It works intermittently, sometimes taking up to 15 minutes just to be in a working state. This morning it literally took me four minutes to open the internet and log into my email. Four minutes!!!! Time yourself next time you do that same task, then tell me if I am overreacting. I'm not.
Recently I have been plagued my flickering black screens, the inability to open most attachments and an often non responsive Firefox (I swear to god I am going to burn my put all of my forks in the garbage disposal and grind them to shrapnel if I have see the "Well, this is embarrassing" window again.
Even now as I am working on my blog my computer is practically giving my lap second degree burns and it sounds like a little creature is trapped inside, probably ripping apart wires laughing at me. I named my computer Grief but God willing this hunk of shit will last four to ten more weeks, then it's a shiny beautiful mac book pro for me. I'm glad I got this off my chest.
Fun Fact Per Post: I am a senior in college
No comments:
Post a Comment